The night before was very tough for me, so many thoughts arose from the deep, so many vices, i could literally feel them choking me. Last night was different though. :) There was a power and a deep peace. I could feel the energy coarsing through me, calling me, waking me up at different times during the night with what seemed like electrical surges through my body. It was exilerating and exciting. Last night was very different.
I woke up at 5, took a bath. The water was very very cold. :) Not as cold as my Ganga bath but almost there. It rained today. I decided to leave with the four swami's to the Chinmaya mission in Uttarkashi, the place where Sri Tapovanji did his Tapasya for about 30 to 40 years. It was a funny situation. None of us could speak fluent Hindi. (They were Malyali speaking) We took a bus, assuming that the driver would take us to Uttarkashi. That was not the case. He took us as far as a village just past Harsil and asked us to get off. We were a little confused but agreed that the fare he charged us was surprisingly less for an intended journey all the way to Uttarkashi. A truck driver offered to take us the rest of the route.
We reached the Chinmaya mission around 2:00pm, all cramped up and tired from our 6 hour long journey. There were 7 people jammed up at the back seat of a truck that was supposed to only carry 4. Upon arriving at the ashram, swami Tatwananda asked me to follow him whilst the others unpacked. He took me to what seemed to look like an ordinary porch or patio within the ashram. He kneeled down in the centre, said a prayer, stood up and asked me to do the same while he made his way to another swamiji in the ashram, paying no attention to me. I kneeled down and slowly became aware of the sensations in my body. It seemed like an external force was acting upon it. There was a tingling sensation and a depth that seemed almost endless. When i closed my eyes i became aware of very intense sensations in my forehead and upper body as if it was pulsating to a very beautiful rythm. I did not feel like opening my eyes. I did not want to. I felt like i could stay there forever. After what must have been some time, i could hear swami's voice, it was slowly getting louder as i drifted back into that reality, waking me up from what felt like deep sleep.
I opened my eyes again and could once again hear the river along with the swami, calling me. Besides him was the other swami. They both waited patiently, smiling. Swami Tatwananda introduced his friend as swami Dayananda, the presiding swami of the ashram in Uttarkashi. After doing my pranams, i was asked to join them for lunch. I am now writing from my room in the first floor of the ashram. It is very beautiful up here. The air is clean and fresh. The monkeys are going about their usual village taunts and the Ganges is clearly seen and heard.
After lunch, I took a walk with swami Tatwananda along the banks of the Ganges. She draws all creatures unto her. We spoke. We listnened to each other and to her voice that resonated deep within us. I am truly glad for meeting this man in the saffron cloth. His eyes are deep, gentle and compassionate and he speaks the truth. He is with others but he is truly alone. He is complete in the Self. In that regard, I too wish to be like him someday.
