27th August - Rain in Rishikesh

Got caught in the rain yesterday while walking along the Ganga in Ram Jhoola in Rishikesh. Ram Jhoola is surrounded by temples along the Ganga. It is a very beautiful and unique place. While walking i came across a Rishi under a shelter. I gave my Namaskar to him while hurrying along and i heard a voice behind me as i passed him. I looked and it was him calling me to him. Wow. What did he want, i wondered. I went up to him with reverence. The rain was now pelting down and i was soaked. He called me closer. "What is your name?" He asked. "Vishalin" I replied, anticipating some Sidhi, some grace, some timeless words of wisdom from him. Perhaps something to help me further along the path. He smiled, gestured that i come closer and then whispered in my ear; "Vishalin.....that is a good name. You want to buy Hashish?" I smiled and hurried along my path. The rain was pelting down. My camera was beginning to get wet to i sought some shelter underneath some food and clothing stalls. A voice called out to me. It sounded familiar. It was coming from a coffee shop opposite me. It was my friend Patrick, the French Yoga teacher whom i met at Mukti's restaurant the other day. He had a warm smile on his face and asked me to come in and spend some time with him. He had a friend with Him, another French man named Francois who pulled out a box of Jenga and we played, the three of us, with hot cups of Chai. Perfect way to celebrate a rainy afternoon. After the game of Jenga, which i turn out to be very good at (i have never played it in this life before) :) Patrick asked if i had seen the Aarti at Parmat Neketan? I had not so i decided to go along with him. What an amazing experience. About 500 to 1000 people gather on the ghat with musicians and vedic students chanting the mantras. All in front of an amazing stone carving of Shiva who sits further into the Ganga on a concrete bridge. Alone and untouched. I was very moved being there.

Kabir Song

Oh My Soul

Oh my Soul, you come and you go Through the paths of time and space. In useless play you’ll not find the way So set your course and go. Sing such a song with all your life You will never have to sing again. Love such a one with all your heart You will never need to love again. Oh my Soul, you come and you go Through the paths of time and space. In useless play you’ll not find the way So set your course and go. Walk such a path with all your faith You will never have to wander again. Give yourself to such a Guru You will never have to seek again. Oh my Soul, you come and you go Through the paths of time and space. In useless play you’ll not find the way So set your course and go. Pray such a prayer with all your soul You will never have to pray again. Die such a death at the feet of God You will never have to die again.

Oh my Soul, you come and you go Through the paths of time and space. In useless play you’ll not find the way So set your course and go. Breathe my Love Breathe my Love Breathe in the quiet centre. http://www.last.fm/music/Snatam+Kaur/_/Kabir%27s+Song

25th August - PanchaKarma

I just started a PanchaKarma treatment. Today i will go for Abhyanga (full body Ayurvedic massage) and Shirodhara (Head oil treatment).

23 August - Haridwar to Rishikesh

I left Ram Dev ashram at 4:00pm. Took a bus to the Haridwar bus station. Took a connecting bus to Rishikesh. Passed Harki Poch Palace (this is where the enchanting Aarti celebration takes place in Haridwar) As we drove, on the upper hill, I saw the Mansa Devi temple standing in her splendour. I am making an intention to go there. The two other old temples in Haridwar are the Chande Devi temple and the Bharat Marsha temple. In the bus i met Krishna; a local who was very helpful. I am now at the Art of living Ashram in Rishikesh. Lets see what happens: 19:45 - Had a nice cold bath. (its hot here....about 35deg celcius) Needed it. :) The marble floors here are very attractive and clean. I walked to Swami Dayanand Ashram for the ganga Aarti. It was said to start at 6:30pm. I walked until i could hear the sound of rushing water. Behold the Ganges, about 5 meters ahead of me. Racing down its steep banks. This was the closest i had gotten yet. So beautiful. So majestic. So close to the source. The aarti was being done in a temple in the ashram. I felt like being outside with the Ganges so i sat down, crossed my legs and did a simple meditation. So powerful is the energy of this river. I went for a walk through the local neighbourhood. People live so close by each other here. Windows and doors are always open. Shops are left open with the shopkeeper away for periods of time. I walked the public route through to one of the ghats facing the Ganges. I walked through alleyways where neighbours all shared a single building, cordoned off at different places. Its so amazing to see people live in close community like this. They seem genuinely happy. Its so different from back home. The children here are so beautiful. They take my breathe away every time i see them; every time i hear them singing, laughing, shouting, playing. so much of purity. so much of innocence. It seems behind each shop here is a room where the owner and his family will stay. It seems people here are comfortable with what they have and live for sustainability.

Swayambhu

Shoes Off

(an evening walk along the Ganges) Tonight i cast these sandals off as i walk this dusty road. These comfort slippers at learnings cost no longer take me home. This road walked by many a saint, many a villager, many a happy child. All barefoot. All given completely to each moment in the journey. All given fully to the road, to the stones and the rubble, to the dirt and to the waste of many an animal and human alike. And if perhaps i should mistakenly step on some creature, this time aware, then maybe i too will know and feel again how precious these fleeting moments are as it steals my numbness from me. On this beautiful evening in Rishikesh, Chandini hides her glorious face from me, revealing only a hint of mischievous smile from behind the blankets of Shiva. She steals my gaze and all other faces and features are lost behind her luminous taunt. I too am faceless and nameless among the tens that walk this path tonight. I am nobody. I am empty and hollow. "It is no longer I that lives........" How freeing the thought. There was once a time when i too was a child. I had no care for social etiquette or compliance. But i felt a deep connection with all and trusted completely. I sang to my sentiment and danced spontaneously to the joy in my heart; naked and barefoot on the dusty street. Completely. Completely. Trust was implicit. I did not care for shoes to protect. Now i walk barefoot in the night, dancing to a strange and soothing melody inside me. Mother is by my side.

Mother

Location: Rishikesh

Mother calls. "To him who has ears........" Ever embracing, ever open. All belong to Mother. Mother embraces all. Wrinkled and old throughout the ages yet with such grace she moves as in the prime of her youth. With such loving charm and composure she fulfills her daily chores. With no thought for herself; Mother only knows what is her duty surely as the earth knows its place in the sun. Selfless are Mothers actions. Unconditional is her love. There is no other love like Mothers love. One with the source is Mother. One with the infinite depth. Ageless and beautiful is Mother. Yet many are fooled by her multitude of disguises. By the clothes she may wear. By the colours of her ever-changing skin. By the ashes, by the loin clothes, by the waste of many a villager and city dweller. Many are fooled and turn away from mothers love. Yet mother is pure. And pure she will always remain. There is much life and purity in her plentiful bosom. To the traveler who lives by the senses, he will not see Mother. Instead many distractions he will find. He will quickly move away from her and look to her shores instead where many a lure will lay. But to the one who searches his own heart, he will take refuge in Mother alone. She is harsh to those she loves the most; to those twice born; to those who are not of this world nor the next. Yet she is harsher to those who pursue her deeper still, closer and closer to the Source. If this is your goal then Mother will be relentless. She will test you and try you and be harsher still; that you may know the intentions of your own heart and the nature of the fire in your eyes. In Mother all are one. The little child playing at her side, the rishi, the seeker, the Sadhu, the Shop owner, the leper, the thief, the animals, the excrement, the dead. Mother has no favourites. All is one. All is Brahman. Mother loves completely. When you are embraced by Mother, you feel deeply her love. But deeper still, when you embrace Mother, when all inhibitions are thrown into her currents, you feel love for all. All differences are dissolved. There is no longer big or small, nor rich or poor. There is a deep humility that is felt; A breaking within. A deep thread of connectivity with humanity and with creation. A feeling of selflesness. A feeling of surrender, of non-identity, of non-individuality. There is such a feeling of freedom and such joy that exists. Words cannot do this justice. Yet those that live with her constantly, that speak with her in the early hours of the morning at the break of dawn. Those that interact with her during the day in bath and play, those that sing to her at night with Arti: they know this by heart already. They have made these truths their basis for life here and in their interactions with all. Prayer: Oh divine mother. May you test my heart truly. May you make my intentions pure. You are the only one who can lead me to the Source. To that infinite bliss. To Gangadhara. To Bholenath. To Jagadisha. Even in your chastisement, even in constantly pushing me away from that place. Still i will become more resolute. Still i will become more fervent. Nandi will teach me how to take stance. Gone are the days of the gopi. Gone are the days of the flute and the melodies in the night hours. These have all been washed away by your waters. Mother divine, Courage is also with me. Nandi and Courage are my symbols of strength. I shall walk still to that place. Many Rishis have walked this path. Many have fallen for the jewels along your shores. Let me not be swayed. Let me not stop until i have reached the goal. Shiva!!! This is my prayer oh Mother divine. In many forms you have come to me for many years. In many forms still you will come. I thank you in all of these. Let my eyes be ever open so that the goal may be reached. Let me not drift into dreaming again.

Saturday 22nd August - Delhi to Hardwar

I am on a train now to Haridwar. I will post pics later. I left the Sri Aurobindo Ashram on friday the 22nd at about 2:00pm. I will tell you more about the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in a proceeding post and more about my time there. For now lets just say that it was ethereal and very humbling.

I decided to spend a night in paharganj. How different Paharganj was from the Ashram. Paharganj is a neighbourhood in Delhi alive with noise, colour, traffic, animals, locals, tourists and indian goods from all over the sub-continent. I booked a room for the evening at the Anand hotel for Rs250. I have slept in better rooms before and my first response was "I want to go back to the Ashram. I should have listened to Dr Bijlani." My next thought was that to many in India it would be considered a great comfort to sleep in a bed with running water and a toilet. So i decided to stick it out. :(

There was a wedding ceremony last night. The drummers came out into the street, follwed by the bride and her parade. People joined in dancing and singing. It was so beautiful to see in the middle of Paharganj. Last night i went to purchase a t-shirt to wear in the heat. The shopkeeper, a seemingly religious man (he had a prayer shrine in his shop like most Indians) went out of his way to assist me. He was kind and did not charge more than expected. (i payed 35 rupees for the T-Shirt) I kept thanking him profusely and he kept shaking his head, unaffected by my gratitude, saying: "I am only doing my duty sahib."

I am only doing my duty. I am only doing my duty: these words i have been reflecting on since yesterday. Another mystery. Another secret to mystical India slowly being unfolded. Indians are dutiful people. They give full attention to the task with no care for the reward. "politeness" and "niceness" does not work here if there is no depth or substance behind it. These are cheap and fickle expressions with no weight on the soul. In the western world we thrill ourselves with being 'nice' to people. A friendly smile, inspite, a kind gesture and immediately we feel like we deserve a medal or at least a pat on the back. Superficial, shallow attempts at real connection.

The average indian is deeply devoted and committed and pays no attention to lip service or superficial offerings. If you had to ask one of these he would say: "It does not matter to me that you are comfortable or whether you are smiling or not. It does not matter to me how many "good" deeds you have done for the day. If you are in a position to do something then it is your duty to act. Justice demands this!!! We are all an integral part of the whole. What is good for the hive is always good for the bee and NOT the other way around. Dont sit there and expect an applause everytime you get up and do something. This is your duty."

I keep asking myself: what does it mean to be human? Am i so immersed in my self preservation that i forget i am a part of the bigger picture? The irony is that in these efforts to make it on our own and gather for ourselves we die sooner. In India, I am learning that the longer one holds on to the vain illusion of 'I', 'Me', 'Mine', 'Vishalins', the greater the difficulty one faces. The more the struggle intensifies. It is best, here, to leave behind these notions. These expressions of selfishness and lower ego and to quickly submit to the land, to the culture, to the dirty streets, to the crowded busses and trains, to the sweat in the summer heat, to the burst of rain in the streets, to the dancing, to the singing, to the noise and the chaos.

This is part of the beauty i am experiencing here. India's ability to unmask you, allow you to see divinity in all, even in the dirt and also in you. If one misses this. One misses a lot.

Plane Trip and Delhi

Dubai International - 17th August 9:00am Dubai International is an amazing airport. A salad of so many cultures, nationalities and traditions all in one place. Kit Kat at a grocery store. Starbucks, Old Irish Pub. Oh hello........two pretty ladies at the information counter: I smile. They smile. I asked for my boarding gate details. (Perhaps I knew that already....but you cant be too sure ;) They confirm with me. They ask where i'm from. Then some light hearted conversation. They were very pleasant. I reach the boarding gates to Delhi at about 9:15 am, 15 mins before boarding time. Lots of passengers with surgical masks on. Doesn't make one feel too safe. Good thing i had my nasal antibiotic with. Thanks to my pharmacist. So apparently the new strain of flu loves air conditioned places like planes and circulates very well there. Took an A330 Emirates to Delhi. Fell asleep in the plane. Felt all sorts. Kept thinking about my Kombucha culture that i left with Michelle and my mum. If you're reading this, keep it healthy ladies. :) Mmmhhhh....whats this?? Interesting. An entire family with surgical masks on. Ah they are now all cleansing their hands with alcoholic hand cleanser. Tempted to pull out my nasal defense once more..............nah. Flight attendant Emma. Cutie. :) She happens to be from Glascow Scotland. I visited there in 2007 so we had quite a few things to talk about. Real sweet. Landed at Delhi 13:30. 30 degrees celcius and humid. If you are stopping at Delhi and no one is picking you up then please go to the prepaid taxi rank and purchase a ticket there first before leaving the airport. The taxi drivers rates vary and you are more than likely to pay more than you should. Purchased my prepaid and took a taxi to Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Delhi. (will tell you more about this in next post) Taxi ride was HECTIC CRAZY!!!!!! Lets just say i got well aquainted with the taxi, its side doors, its roof, floor and all parts of the passenger section VERY quickly. I never saw that one coming: There is no such belief as side mirrors, review mirrors and stop signs in Delhi. It would just be inneficient. :) People use their hooters alot to assist and alert other drivers of their presence. I counted at least two times when i thought i was going to die in that taxi. My driver was unphased throughout. Trust me if you are complaining about taxi's in Johannesburg. Come to Delhi. I truly admire the driving skills of all those in Delhi. It takes tact, wit and a lot of skill and experience. If you can drive in India then you can drive anywhere else in the world with ease. Driving through Mayapal road to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, oh my word what a trip for the senses. I was not prepared for that. A combination of cars, busses, bicycles, donkeys, carts, motorcycles and pedestrians all sharing the same road. Amazing. Shacks and people dwellings on the curb where the traffic lights are; little shops plastered all over the sidewalk with tobacco spitting shopkeepers and pedestrians, selling all sorts of amenables from cell phones and cigarettes to fruits and vegetables. The colours, the sounds, the touch of the frail street childs hands as it finds its way through my window asking for money. I was not prepared for this. Overwhelming is the word i would use to describe this feeling. If this is India then i am in love.

Packed n ready to Go

"Yet I cannot tarry longer. The sea that calls all things unto her calls me, and I must embark. For to stay, though the hours burn in the night, is to freeze and crystallize and be bound in a mould. Fain would I take with me all that is here. But how shall I? A voice cannot carry the tongue and the lips that give it wings. Alone must it seek the ether. And alone and without his nest shall the eagle fly across the sun."

12 more hours. :) Let see......